The Anatomy of an Inventor

Enjoy who I am? Enjoy what I do? I shouldn't do that. "Enjoy Jesus, don't enjoy yourself - there's nothing good in yourself." is the lie that I heard. (The truth told at the wrong time or in the wrong context, is no longer the truth.) Nothing good in yourself alone is true, but you're no longer alone. You are united in Christ (Phil 2:1). You are hidden in Christ (Col 3:3). You died and Christ lives in you. (Rom 6:2; Gal 2:20)

See here's how an inventor works.
He creates something beautiful, something perfect. He designs his car, for example, specifically for a purpose. In the year 2016, this event will happen, so He creates His car planning for that event. It's more than just a moving car. It's got a phenomenal sound system. It's got things that make GPS and On-Star seem like the stone wheel. It's got new inventions, new computer system, new self-cleaning, self directing, self driving systems in it and just works phenomenally. He creates it perfect for these plans that He has to use it in.

That's the breaking of the first lie. I'm born into sin. I'm born sinful and awful and written. I shouldn't enjoy who I am because I am pitiful. I am born into sin, born sinful, born into a sinful world. That's not completely true. Yes, we may be born in the ghetto and our natural tendency is to follow the ghetto ways (sin of Adam-Rom 5:12) but we are not made broken and messed up. We are made beautiful. God made all of creation said it looks good, then made Adam and Eve and said "It's really Good." (Gen 1:31). For a long time, I assumed that was the original creation, but then once sin entered the world mankind got all messed up and stopped being created good and intricate. David (33 generations into sin), still wrote "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:14). So if David noted the fact that He was still made beautiful and fully loaded 33 generations into sin, why do we think any different? God made us intricate, and specialized. He made us good with specific gifts and talents and ideas and just special things He likes for a future purpose. But there's sin...

The inventor makes His specialized car for the plans He has for it.  But then something happens. Some people would say that we gave the keys away by our bad choices. Others would say that Satan came and stole the car from us. Others would say someone came, took the keys from us, and gave the keys away to evil. For the purpose of this story, the key comes down to this: Jesus made the car, but at this point, He is not the one driving it. Somehow, Satan/evil/sin is controlling the car.

At the cross, Jesus earned the right to take the car back. So He comes to us and says, "Can I take my car back?" That's it, "Can I take my car back?" Some people say, "Yes, let me get it for you." He says, "You can't get your car back, if you could, you would have already gotten it. Can I take my car back?" Others say No or they don't answer and they're not Christians. Some say, Yes, you can take your car back, and Jesus walks over stands in front of the car. Satan has to stop and Jesus walks over to the door rips Satan out, gets in His car and drives away - thus making the person a Christian. (Col 2:15)

The car has been hijacked and horrible things have been done to it, horrible things have been done in it, it has been used to do horrible things. There are cigarette burns in it, the seats have been cut by a knife, the engine has been neglected, the fenders have been dented, the computer has been all scrambled, people have had sex in the back seat, a kids been hit and hurt with the car, it's been used in a bank robbery, people have done drugs, told lies, and masturbated in the car. They car has been very messed up. Sometimes we give ourselves into sin, sometimes people have sinned against us with words, looks, molesting, etc. We all know that our engines/hearts have been neglected, there's been damage to our body inside and out, and we're not exactly show room material for the 2016 Car Expo.

No inventor will show off His car in these circumstances. No one walks around bragging about how messed up His car is. Often times we parade our sins and our scars around in church and in front of people to show "how good God is to you." God wouldn't parade you around like that. Well, God let me go through this so I would learn a lesson. He put me through this so I could see how good He is. That doesn't make sense. Why would an inventor create a perfectly amazing and state-of-the-art creation then show it around town in it's broken busted up state after being hijacked?

What the inventor would do is take the car back to His shop. Is the seat cut? That's ok, I created it. I have more material in my shop to repair it. Is the back seat all nasty from horrible things done on it? That's ok. I will take it out and replace and put a new one in it. Is the computer/mind all frazzled and no one else can figure out how to get it even to begin to turn on correctly? That's ok. I created it. I can take it apart and fix it and rewire it, or I could create a new one and just put it in. The fenders and body messed up? I can clean those up too and trim them back to fitting appropriately. The engine and heart been neglected and not working correctly? I can tune it up and replace any broken areas so it runs smoothly and purrs again. Anything and everything that's wrong with it - body defects, mental defects, abuse to the insides, abuse to the outside, neglect, damage, and messed up wiring - I can fix. I created it so I can fix it or I have enough supplies that I can create a new one. You see an inventor will take everything that's messed up and replace it until it is at least back to it's original glory if not better.

God's plan is not to show you off in your broken state. That's stupid for an inventor to show this off. He desires to bring you back to His shop, His presence and one thing at a time replace and heal all that's been done to you, things that have been done in you, and things that you have done to harm yourself. 

Then as the car is fully restored to it's Eden like state. He takes it around and shows it off. When it's beautiful and shining and it's doing its best and shining with glory and joy and fully using all of it's accessories. He takes it and shows it off and uses it for how He created it. See, the plans never changed from the beginning. He still had plans for that car and even when it got hijacked, the plans stayed the same.  He likes to show off His car to everyone.

We're allowed to do what we can do and enjoy doing them. That's why they're called gifts. It's ok to show off what you can do. When you do what you can and do it well for the world to see, it actually brings more honor and glory to the Inventor than claiming you can do nothing. If He puts a $15,000 sound system in you, don't be afraid to turn on the music and turn it up. He puts writing, drawing, dancing, care taking, children working, administration, teaching, song writing in you - don't be afraid to do it and do it big for the world to see how equipped the Inventor has made you. 

People will come to Him and say "Wow! Look at that car!" They'll look back at their own car and say "Oh... I wish my car could look like that. It's a little beat up and seen some mileage." Then the Inventor will reach into His back pocket and pull out a few photographs and say "This is what it used to look like at one time." "No way!" They'll respond. "There is no way that's the same car as this!" He'll just laugh and chuckle. "I can make your car look like this too," He whispers in their ear.

The only time we have permission to bring up our past or show off our scars is when someone looks at us and says, "I wish I could be like that." Then we can say, "Look, this is what I used to look like." No other time can we drag around and flash off our scars and bumps of what used to be. Also, if we aren't glowing and displaying a full life now (not the grumpy old, "sinner saved by grace is all I'll ever be until I go to heaven."), a life full of grace and joy, who is going to look at us and say "Man, I wish I could be like that." Instead, they'll look at us and consider we're both under the same master who hijacked us. 

 The Inventor is honored, respected, and glorified when His creation is at it's peak performance -when it's running and put back together without junk, diseases, heartaches, past aches, and scars and cigarette burns. So if you've allowed the Inventor to get His car back, you have been restored. His desire is to restore you. In His presence He wants to restore you and show you off. He has special things and plans He made just for you to do. He created you awesome from the beginning for them. (Eph 1:4, 2:10) So be restored. Show off your wholeness, your Holiness so the world can stand in awe of the Inventor and can come and be restored. Really, enjoy your car. Enjoy who you are and the fun intricate special inventions that are hidden in you that makes you more than just the standard base model human (there is no such thing, by the way. Every human comes fully loaded, just with different accessories.) Enjoy who you are and whose you are. Let Him show you how you use all of the cool gadgets in you and really just enjoy how He's made you and how awesome you are.

Be a Branch

These last few days we were at a retreat and one night one of the leaders shared part of her story. She had grew up in the Church and was doing the Christian life. God showed her at one point the passage John 15. "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine dresser." Most of us know this. Abide in me and you will bear much fruit, apart from me you'll do nothing. Got it. Then she said "Stop being the gardener. Be the branch." You're job is not to cultivate yourself, it's to abide in Jesus. It's not to trim yourself where you feel like it's needed, it's not to strive to dig your roots down, it's to enjoy Jesus and let Him do it.

I can't do that! I can't tell people to stop cultivating themselves. Stop being a good steward, reading your bible, praying, etc. Stop doing these things to make you Holy and instead enjoy Jesus. I can't do that. If I stop doing these things I know I should, if I stop disciplining myself I'll backslide, I'll go back into the world, I'll fall away, I'll do my own selfish desires. I go be laxed and away.  

Yeah, you can't let go because you think you're the one holding on. You think that your still a dirty awful sinner. You don't believe that I have bought you (1 Cor. 6:20) changed you (2 Cor. 5:17) redeemed you (Gal 3:14). You don't trust you. You don't trust you so there is no way that you will ever really enjoy you.

It's true that apart from Jesus you can do nothing. It's true that without Jesus you're nothing. But guess what? If you're a Christian, you're never without Jesus ever again. You have died to your old self. (Gal 2:20) You are now a new creation. (2 Cor 5:17). You have been united with Christ (Phil 2:1), you sit with Him in the heavenly places (Eph 2:6). Jesus and His Father and the Spirit have came in and made a home and a temple out of your body (1 Cor 6:19 - Jn 15:23). So there is no more of this talk "without Jesus..." because there is never again a point in your life that you are without Jesus because you're hidden in Christ. You've been united as one, and you can't undo one.

Here's what you need to do: Enjoy Jesus and do what happens next.
You've been given a new heart. You've been given a new mind - the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). We continue to renew it so we know how to use it and think fully with it so we understand how things actually work (Romans 12:2).Don't be afraid to lose control of backslide - you pursue what you love. You don't strive after it. Give up what you think you need to do to be a good Christian and instead go enjoy Jesus, then do what happens next. Proverbs 37:4 "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." When you enjoy Jesus, your heart will desire to do different things. Do those things that you enjoy because God has put them there. You can enjoy yourself. I mean, you can enjoy who you are and what you do. You are good.

The argument in my head that followed. To be continued... (You'll want to read the rest. It gets better.)

(Amendment) Parade of Nations

A few days ago, I wrote about the Parade of Nations: Click Here to read. Sunday, I saw it come to life and in action.

As the service started about 200-300 people piled into the room sat down. We worshiped. We sang. We prayed. As we prayed, I noticed a lot of different languages being spoken – sweet. As the pastor/speaker got up to talk, he asked, “Is there anyone from Sweden? Any Sweeds in the house?” about 7 people around the room stood up. “Any from Hungary?” One person stood up. I thought we were just seeing how many people from different countries there were, but instead he wanted to pray for them. He said, I just feel like I heard God say these countries and I want to pray for you all. I just feel like God is doing something big and moving in your countries and I want us to pray for you all.

I turned around to see the Swedish guys standing behind me. One just about burst out in tears, he nearly bent over crying just torn up that God was doing something in his country. This was his country and he loves so many people there, and to hear someone proclaim that God is doing something big in His country.

Living in America, if someone said “God is doing and is going to do something big in America.” We would either say, “Yeah, well duh.” Or we’d say “Alright, cool.” None of us would probably be this torn up, this wrecked by the idea that God was doing something big in our country. Yet, my Swedish classmate broke down in tears in front of 300 of his newest classmates at this idea. I want to have that passion for my country, and I want Americans to have that passion for other countries. Just a true story I wanted to pass on. 

Things in the Bible People Wouldn't Believe Today

You look a little tired.
Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night.
Why not?
I was talking to an angel all night. Actually, I was wrestling him so he would bless me. He changed my name so please call me "Striving with God" now instead of "Liar." I'm filling out the out the forms to have the appropriate change.

I went outside this morning to feed my dog and he audibly started talkin to me. 

Really? Your...your dog? What did he say?

He started talking about my spiritual life and how I was taking the easy way in life rather than actually following God. Then he told me, he also likes the old dog food better than the new stuff. 

Hey honey, you back from the store?

Yeah, I got some new things to try. Check out this fruit.

Oh, how'd you hear about this.

Well there was a snake hanging around that back corner that suggested it. He said it will do incredible things for your mind. Better than ginkgo balova. 

Hello, white house.

Yes, I'd like to schedule a meeting with the President.

Ok, he's very busy. What does this matter pertain to?

I'd like to take all the blue color workers and go to Canada.

Ok. Why is that?

I was our farming one day and a bush caught fire and talked to me. He told me to come here and take them north.

Good for you sir. It looks like the president is pretty busy these days. Perhaps while you wait you can drink lots of fluids and talk to a counselor about this bush.

Ok. Thanks. My brother and I be there in a week to pick them up.

Hey man. What are you doing?

Packing up. Me and the fam are heading out. Taking the cattle with us too.

Oh man, I hate to see you go. Where are you going to?

I don't know yet.

Oh, did something happen around here that you have to leave?

No. 

...nothing bad happened? Do you need better schools or something? Closer to family?

Nothing bad happened. We homeschool and actually all of my family's here.

Oh, so...why are you leaving?

God told me to.

Right...did he say where?

No. He just said move and I'll tell you where to go.

...ok. So y'all headed north or south or out west or...?

I don't know. I figured God would tell us when we left.

When are you leaving?

Tomorrow.

Oh. When did you all decide this?

Last night, God told us.

Oh. Ok. Right. Well then... Maybe I'll see you later?

Yeah, probably not but it's a good sentiment.

General Patton, what's our orders? We've got the scouting report of Bagdad, what do you think?

Well leave at 0600 hours. And take the whole fleet to the west flank.

Ok. West flank.

Then we'll have people who have instruments on the frontline playing worship music. The rest will walk silently around the city parameter.

Sir, are you sure?

Yes. Well do this for the next seven days.

What about enemy fire?

Well be fine. The seventh day, we'll make 7 laps around the city parameter. Then the buildings will crumble and well have infantry swarm the rest.

Should we send in the air strike before?

No. We don't need them. The buildings will fall down when we yell at them.

Sir, permission to speak freely?

Permission granted.

Are you feeling ok? With all due respect, this does not sound like a wise military procedure.

You're right it doesn't. But it's ok. God told me to do this. We'll be fine.

Yes sir. (goes to higher official to report Patton as mentally AWOL and needing relieved of command.)

Good morning. Its a privilege to get to come back and see you all so many years after we started this church. So today's sermon is going to be a little different than what we normally do. An angel came into my room last night and explained grace to me much better than some people have preaching it or teaching for a while. Ok so this what the gospel really is- ignore what people have been teaching you, I want to take you back...

What's your 5 year plan?

Well, I want to go ahead and do my last middle eastern tour ending up in Italy.

Oh Italy is such a beautiful place. You'll love it there. The food is so fresh and the scenery is amazing. 

Yeah, well...I'm pretty sure I'm going to be tortured and possibly die there.

Say what?!

I kinda keep getting these ideas that only harm awaits me there. Even others have told me.

So why are you going?! What the crap! Stay away from there!

Oh no! My heart burns so much to go there.

To die?! Look at pictures, hear others stories, don't go there.

My heart burns within me to tell them about Jesus.

Oh. Its for Jesus. He'll protect you. Nothing bad happens to his people.

Well, on my last few trips I've beaten multiple times to near death, thrown in prison, and my ship I was a prisoner on wrecked too. 

Are you crazy?! You must have some sin in your life or not in the will of God.

No. I'm pretty sure I'm there. This is my role.

Well...I don't know. We'll pray that God shows you the real way.

He has and it's to Rome, Italy.

That's just crazy talk. Send someone else and be safe with yourself. That's just not using your head. You want to be wise and be a good steward.

True, but I want to be more obedient than I am wise. I'm leaving in a few days.

Man, are you ok?

Yeah... Kind of. I can't see.

What do you mean you can't see? What happened? You spill something in your eyes?

No. I was walking to work with the guys and this bright light appeared.  And it spoke...

What do you mean it spoke? You drink enough water?

Yes, I drank. He said...

He?

Yeah, " Why are you working against me?" Who are you? I asked. "Im Jesus" he said "and now you'll be blind."

What?! You met Jesus? Dude, Jesus has been gone a while now. And I thought Jesus was all love and such. I didn't know he's blinding people.

Well he told me where to go to have this fixed. I guess he is love but when your against Him, His love is protecting and correcting.

I don't know dude. Jesus?! Seriously? The dead guy?

Yeah man, I swear.

Nothing? You can't see a thing? Really? How many fingers am I holding up?

I don't know, Steve. I told you, I can't see.

Oh man. You're serious. But Jesus?! Are you taking some new vitamin or something that reacts in the sunlight or causes vision impairment?

No.

You eat anything new?

Nope.

How'd you sleep last night?

Like a rock.

Hmmm. I don't know dude. I just don't know.

If you want to live forever- eat my skin and flesh and drink my blood.

Say what?!

Mary Elizabeth?!

What mom?

What is this I found in your bathroom?!

Um...a pregnancy test.

And I see a little plus sign. Mary Elizabeth! I cannot believe this. I thought we raises you better. We told you about this, we guided you, we trusted you. And this, this is what you've done with our trust?!

Mom, let me explain!

There's no explanation. I know how this works. I... We'll have to move and say your husband died and...your husband! Jo! Jo will never want a slut like you... It's not Jo is it? Is he the father?

No. He's not. Let me expl...

Good. I knew him to be a good man. I thought the same of you. But I was wrong. I...

MOM!

What?!

Let me tell you!

Go. Fine. Just say it and finish off my heart.

An angel from God came and told me God was giving me the baby even though I am still a virgin.

Mary Elizabeth! It's been 400 years since anyone's heard from God and now you're bringing religion into this. Why you? Why a girl?! He's never used girls like this before. This is not in our teachings! Don't try to bring some religion into this. Fess up to your own mistakes. So really, who's the father?

Mom, I told you it's God.

Oh Mary, I don't want to hear that. I have to go talk to your father to figure out what to do with you.

And many many many more. Perhaps I need to read the Bible realizing how crazy some of the stuff was, then expect and perhaps accept some of the other crazy stuff He could be doing today. 

Giants in God's Way

The plan from A-Z was to get Gods people out of slavery and into the promise land. (same today: out of  bondage and into promises) Along the way there were things that were going to happen that God knew and had plans for. The Israelites didn't know this so they freak out and question Gods goodness and living each time one comes up despite the numerous times they've seen Him work before.  They get to the promise land, God tells them to look at the giants, size them up, then I'll tell you the plan to take them down. Instead the people freak out at the size of them and wondered why they ever started this journey!

Sound familiar? Do not worry about giants in your promise land. Do not worry about steps between where you started and where you want to go. God did not bring you this far in ignorance of the next steps. He has plans for every chain of bondage, every sea in the way, every giant taking what is yours, and every overly sized fruit for you to enjoy.

The plans from when you were a slave to the evil one and the things of this world were to get you free from every addiction, every lie about who God is and who you are, every piece of wrong that you've done or that has been done to you, every fear of disappointment, every selfish chain of bondage, every piece of "wisdom" that says you need to be stable and settle down, everything that says you need a plan and to financially be equipped to do it, every broken relationship, every eating disorder, fear of failure, and spirit of religion, performance, and perfectionism. All of these are either a chain of bondage, a sea stopping you from moving forward, or giants standing in your promise land. It depends who you are and your journey as to which one will pop up where. Here's the thing: God desires you to be completely whole and walking with Him. That's His plan and that is what He'll do. Many things can get in God's way.

Sometimes, I think we lie when we say, "Nothing can get in God's way." Shoot! The Bible is full of stories of things getting in God's way. There's sin in His way of having a relationship with us, Satan's always being dumb, there's doubt and fear on our part. There's also physical things often in His way. Coming out of Israel there's an sea blocking them from going forward, there's no food or water in the middle of the desert for a few million people, and there's giants living in their promise land. Later there's walls around Jericho, there's a giant and His army trying to take out Gods people, there's a crazy ruler tried to kill Gods anointed (3 different times-Moses, David, Jesus). There's hundreds of thousands of people going against His people getting in His way. Giants, armies, false teachers and prophets, religious hypocrites, dirty business men, and bad politicians. There's sickness and infirmities on people, there's physical disabilities or limitations on others, there's even death getting in the way of God. There's lack of resources- not having enough money, food, flour, oil, etc. There are tons of things that get in the way of God, but there's nothing that's ever stopped Him. 

Sometimes we make God big saying "nothing can get in Gods way" and what we indirectly say is: everything will be a clear straight shot. We will "go through the open doors" but in the Bible there were lots of door that were much more open than the path God walked them through.  When the Israelites first scoped out the Promise Land full of giants they refused and chose to play it safe and not go into the land of giants - they named that place Kadesh Barnea known as: a place of rebellion against God. . That's why God called us "more than conquerors" instead of "downhill sleigh riders". Cause there's lots of things in the way, but you walk with Him and He moves all of them. Resources don't run out, armies turn on themselves, seas split in the middle, city walls fall down, cancer dissolves, legs grow out, people grow up, giants fall, food falls from the sky, water comes out of a rock, the religious set up salvation then spread it across the world, dead people come back to life, Satan is destroyed, sin is defeated, and relationships are restored.

Many things get in God's way, but He always moves them. So don't take the easy way. Go into the land of the giants. Walk towards the sea. Give what little food you have. And watch God be God and do the impossible. There's a reason that were "over-comers" and "more than conquerors." we have to walk with God and not accept the initial reality that's in front of us. We overcome it. Sometimes we use God's hands and feet and bust the door open or bust a hole through the wall. Then walk through the open door. Go after the giants and watch God move everything out of the way.

Consumed - Man of Honor.

I've been reading through 1 Samuel these last few weeks. Awesome book.

I've been watching the development and character of Saul who was once just a tall, good looking sheep farmer that God designated to be the first king over his people "Israel." Saul never really gets on the ball with God. He listens at first, and does whatever Samuel (the priest and top connection to God) tells him to, but he never makes it his own. He does what's needed or whats right, but he doesn't make God his life. (It reminds me of many people I see at church who do all the right things, they come to church, lead, tithe, pray, read their Bible but they've put God in all the right places in their life but He hasn't consumed them yet.) You can tell as Saul often asks others for advice rather than God. Although, the Spirit of God was on him, he had prophesied, and knew how to do it having encounters with God - he still hadn't switched his way of thinking that this was his God and his life. An example of this happens when God tells them to destroy everything in Amalek and Saul destroys most of it then brings back the best sheep and oxen telling Samuel it's to sacrifice it to "the Lord your God." It was to Samuel's God, not Saul's God. He was just playing by the rules he had to do rather than being consumed by God.

Doing all the right and holy things, yet not being consumed is not what God desires and will still move you away. You'll feel a slight dissatisfaction and distance as if "is this everything" because you cannot have all of God without first being consumed by Him.

 So God's upset about this distrust in Him and disobedience to Him so he appoints another king. A man named David. To save time, we have to fast forward: David's anointed and the Spirit comes on Him. The Spirit leaves Saul and Saul's tormented by a demon. David plays. David defeats Goliath. Everyone celebrates David. Saul gets jealous tries to kill David. David flees with Jonathan's help. Saul's chasing down David all over trying to kill him because he's jealous.

So we have this scene that David's being chased all around. At this point David has still done nothing wrong. He's being sought after because he was really successful in battle for Saul yet people praised him more than Saul. Saul's daughter Michal is head over heals in love with him/marries him, and Jonathan his son has a special attachment to him. Everyone loves him except Saul. The reason Saul doesn't like him is because he's successful and getting more love than he is and he's afraid 'what if he turns?'

Saul has chased them (David and the other refugees) between cities, in wildernesses, and countrysides. David has still fought for his country and went down and defeated an attack on one of the cities. After the victory they had to leave before Saul came to kill them. At this point Saul and David are literally on different sides of the same mountain trying to kill and flee. A philistine attack lets them get away. Saul then comes back is in pursuit. Along the way, he stops to relieve himself in a cave. It's the same cave that David and his men are hiding in. So David sneaks around and cuts off part of Saul's robe. "His heart struck him" and he felt bad for doing such a thing to his king and the Lord's anointed. So he stopped his men from attacking and killing the one who killed their families, priests, destroyed their homes, and sent them running for their life.

Seriously?! I'd have been ticked. Saul had been trying to kill me for months because I did well or someone fear rose up in him that I wanted to kill him. I had never done anything of the sort yet he believed this. He was chasing me down attempted to kill me multiple times. Yet, he has honor and respect of him because God had chosen him to be in this place. At what point, can I hold a grudge against our president? Can I bash or unload on the leaders of the church (mine or others)? If they have been anointed (designated and set apart by God for purpose), then who am I and how can I come against them? David was such a man of honor that He respected God anointed him, even though he botched it up and did horrible things in between, he still wasn't going against him. Impressive. Massively impressive.

After Saul leaves the cave, David goes out and calls to him. He bows down to the earth and paid homage to Saul! Still showing respect and honor for the guy murdering dozens to kill him. David pretty much says, "Look, I don't know who told you I was trying to kill you but it's not true. See, God gave you into my hands today in the cave. I have a piece of your robe in my hand showing that I could have killed you, but I didn't. I don't have plans to kill you. Let God be our witness and let Him give me to you if I'm lying." Saul lifted his voice and wept crying out that David was more righteous than he. He understood what was going on and how David could have killed him. He admitted how David was to be the future king and simply asked that he not destroy or remove his household or name from the land.

As fear was confronted and discussed, through the extremely gracious acts of a man of honor, peace was restored and God's plans continued to go forth.

Where do I fit?

When a big fish in a small pond gets thrown into an ocean, he's humbled.

I'm not saying I'm a big fish, but perhaps my spiritual attitude was that I was. For that, I am truly sorry if I've came across as egotistical or looking down on people. I found myself being elevated by other people because my obedience requires me to move geographical locations and perhaps I believed it too much. Here's what happens though is the more you're complimented in an area, the more you begin to define yourself with that area. When your identity is not completely encapsulated in Jesus, then the rest can sway with compliments and criticisms.

Here's how it looks like:
I get praises because I'm so bold for going to China or going out and talking to people. I consider myself bold. I come to Redding where I find out I'm afraid of a ton of things, and there are people here who seem to have no fear. I am told I am very wise and knowledgeable, I'm a good leader. I come to Redding and find out that I have no idea what's going on or about most of what they're talking about. I was told I'm funny. I come here and people have a different sense of humor and I have no idea what they're talking about to make jokes. I thought I knew alot about China or missions, until there are Chinese people here and missionaries who have lived over seas for decades. I can continue to go down the list of things problem solving skills, music, painting, design, diligence, athletic, knowledge of the Bible, prayer life, hearing from God, etc. Anything I could begin to feel good about myself for, there's someone here who is phenomenally better at it than me. Many times it's within my household. So not just on the grand scale, but in small group hang out settings I find myself repeating the same question every time I go into a new group. So what's my role here? Where do I fit in? 

At times I've tried to cover it up with service. I'll be the servant guy. So I serve a ton so I know that's my role. Other times, I'll be the smart guy. I'll study a lot, know a lot, be able to help them with it, and have the answers. So I'll throw myself into those things. I'll make posters and be the creative art guy who has ideas and pictures and stuff. Then throw myself into that.

One by one, these things get shot down. Others serve well with you, other know more than you, more athletic, don't like the same style as you make, etc. I realize in this that I'm not actually living life. I'm scrambling around heaving all of my energy from one segment of life into the other trying to find where I fit in? This isn't the "Just give it time and you'll find friends" fix. This is my whole life I continue this phase of trying to fit in, then once I find my place I don't want it to end, change, or move because I now know how I fit.

I've heard people say it, and I've said it too before, We just need to know our identity in Christ. That's awesome and true, but I don't know fully what that means. I've said it, taught it, lead a Bible Study on it, and still don't fully get it. To be honest, it's highly frustrating.  I know in my head what that should mean, but my heart is not yet on the same wavelength. So this is one reason why I decided to come to Bethel is because they push your identity so much.   This post is really just to let you know where I'm at honestly and what I will be learning and hope to be able to enunciate well to you in the next few months. I'll leave you with a quote that I'm going to meditate on more today:

"If it's true that the value of something is measured by what someone else will pay, then we need to rethink our worth." - Bill Johnson, When Heaven Invades Earth

Considering the glory of Heaven was ransomed for me, should change my view on me. I want to get that in every way possible. I hope you get it too.

Cooking and Eating Fish

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." - Jesus (John 10:27). Jesus later explains that we'll get a counselor, the Holy Spirit who will explain all truth to us, speaking from God, and He will declare the things to come. (John 16:13-14).

God wants a relationship with us. This means we talk. He talks and listens, we talk and listen. We are made to hear His voice. If you are a Christian, you can hear His voice. He didn't ransom Heaven and send His son to die the most horrible death ever in human history to bring us close to Him so we could converse in 60-80 years when we die. He did it so we could know each other now. (John 17:3) Why would He not give us this gift? (Romans 8:32). You probably are already hearing it, but you don't recognize it as His voice. If you're reading your Bible and suddenly you understand something or have an analogy or can explain it - Holy Spirit. If your journaling out your thoughts about a passage or idea about God and you look back and go "Wow. That's good. I didn't know I knew that." It's because God-the Holy Spirit just told you. Other examples include when you have an idea that you need to call or tell someone something and they say "Man, that's exactly what I needed/needed to hear." That's because God loves them more than you do and wanted to love them through you. So you heard what God said and did it. Awesome! Good job! That's cooking fish!

"Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy...the one who prophesies speaks to people for their up building and encouragement and consolation." - 1 Corinthians 14:1,3. Paul here is talking to the Corinthians who are excited to use the Spiritual gifts, but like most everything else in their church are way off. They need him to come in and put up the bumper lanes to show them how to do it well. They're not wrong in doing them, they're wrong in how they're doing them.

WORD: Prophecy - reception and declaration of a word from the Lord through a direct prompting of the Holy Spirit, and the human instrument thereof. (Holman Christian Standard Bible Dictionary & Concordance) Try to redefine this word in your head as positive and good rather than considering "Send me $39.99 and I'll tell you how the world will end." That's not what God intended.

So Paul is saying, "Yes, seek love. Do these gifts for they're good and desire them. Especially, I want to see you seek to hear from God to encourage others with. Listen well to what He's saying, then pass it onto the person because He loves them and you love them." This is what I'm talking about. We constantly are seeking to hear from God as to what the person in front of us needs to hear. Every time we pray for someone, (hopefully we don't just jump in and start praying for what we think they need or with a routine prayer - because if you need prayer it's kind of annoying when someone's saying a mantra rather than thinking about you.) we ask God, "What do they need to hear? What should I pray for? How can I love them?" The more you pray for people and ask, the easier it is to get ideas to pop into your head.

The better the basketball player, the more accurate he is. He still misses some shots. The first time my Chinese students tried to translate something in English, it was close and I could figure out what they meant. It's the same way when someone prays over you or prophesies over you. You don't always take in everything they say because some of it isn't applicable for you. It's like eating fish. They give you a fish, you take the meat and you leave the bones. They're doing their best to love you and translate what they think they're hearing from God to you. You thank them for trying to love you. You affirm the meat, the parts that they heard right that is specific for your life. (An issue is if you take their Word as God's final one and you're not listening to Him too to see if it's confirmed or not.) You encourage them. I had one guy start to pray for me after knowing my name and where I was from first ask "Are you a drummer?" I laughed because I am but had done nothing or shown  nothing to imply it. He explained something about my drumming that he felt God wanted to let me know about. I had another girl ask me if I had back pain, I didn't. She said, "Oh. Ok." and we went on. She wanted to pray for my back pain so it would leave. I didn't have pain but if I did would have loved for it to be gone. It's that desire to love people and encourage them that makes us move.

Love makes us move and it steps boldly in front of the fear of being wrong in our attempt to love. We don't let the fear of striking out stop us from playing the game, we don't let the fear of adding too much salt stop us from cooking, we don't let the bones of the fish stop us from eating it, and we don't let the fear of being wrong stop us from praying and prophesying over people. It's because Love is the greater idea. Love makes us move. Love cooks and serves the fish. Out of thankfulness and discernment, we eat the fish.

New School - Words

If I had the opportunity to see or talk to you this past summer or at your church, I probably talked about connotation and denotation of words. This is vital to the rest of the post and therefore blogs for the next two years.

Denotation is the literal meaning of the word. The dictionary definition of the word.
Connotation is the implied or understood meaning of the word.

Examples of this are:
-"cut the cheese" - denotative, it means to slice a diary product. connotative, it means to fart.
-"Holy" - means set apart. It's kind of a word we created to describe God because there wasn't any good enough. Except now we often feel it means, extremely clean, boring, polite, and proper.

We interpret words and their meaning based on our background, events of our life, and position in life. "Baby" means something different to a 3-year old child, than a 18-year old guy, than a 30-year old new mother. "Religion" in China, is a system of beliefs and is good; in America, it's seen as man-made system of behavior to please God and it's bad.

Many times as I, and we, hear a word, we interpret it and it's not always what was intended to be said but it's what we understood it as. If you're married, you know this is true. If you've ever been in any close relationship (romantic or not), you know this is true. So we often have to go back to the origin of the word and what it's supposed to be and consider that in with the heart of the person talking. There's a lot of seeking to understand and grace there.

Awesome. Great. Why does any of this matter?

Over the next few months and probably years, I am going to be writing a lot and using words, some of which the Bible uses, but we have negative connotations or ideas about the word. I used to think someone who talked about the Holy Spirit a lot was a crazy person, unstable, and liked to smack people in the forehead during a service then ask for money. I'm learning that's not true. The Holy Spirit is God. Jesus talks about the Holy Spirit a lot and actually says it's better that He leave so we could have the Holy Spirit (John 16:7). I also used to think "hope" was a light fluffy term rather than a stead persistent looking towards and waiting for something (Rom 8:24-25). So I'm learning to re-orientate my ideas about many words I thought I knew.

My school:
The name of my school is Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California. Wait. Before you get scared of the word Supernatural, think about the meaning of the word "natural" - normal or basic "super-natural" -more than or greater than normal or basic. When is God ever natural? God is always greater than what is natural. He is supernatural. So at this school they just expect God to be God-sized much more. They see the stories of the Bible come to life and continue to happen. They pray for people all the time. Many are healed, some are delivered from evil things, some are overwhelmed by His goodness, and all are encouraged mentally, emotionally, and/or physically.

I want you to know that no, I am not completely comfortable with everything they say or do. There are a ton of things that I have trouble swallowing. But I see their hunger for God above everything else. I see their boldness in stepping out and trying things - even if they get it wrong, they're moving. I see this radical lifestyle to serve and love God and love and honor for everyone around them. I also feel like I tried to make the choice to go to a "safer" school, but God kept steering me back here. So here I am being faithful. This is where I'm at and where I'm coming from. I'd love for you to join me in the process, because I feel like it's leading to more freedom and more of Him. So lets go get more of Him, no matter what it looks like or how it feels, if it's from Him, we want it.

Parade of Nations

We are longing for the glory of the Lord, cause we know there's so much more.

These words from Kim Walkers "I Have Found" played throughout our apartment and my mind began to rush.  We are longing for the glory of the Lord. My mind rushed to Revelation 21:24-26. They're unveiling and talking about the new heaven and earth, then the new Jerusalem. The glory of God gives light to this new place that needs no sun or light. "By it's light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and it's gates will never be shut by day - and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations." 

It's a parade of the nations coming in. Like the Olympics where each country proudly came in shouting their glory as it comes through. They're all celebrating that they are there and they are there for one reason - to bring glory. They are bringing the glory and honor of their nation into the the king.

(watch on mute)

As I watched this parade, I began to cry as I saw so many tribes, nations, and tongues all come in bringing their glory into this place. I imagined what Heaven will be like so there is so much more celebration, bigger lights, bigger show, louder music, more authenticity and more diversity yet more unity. 

Then I began to consider the smaller countries, or the bigger countries with small delegations. I began to think about DPRK (North Korea). In the Olympic parade, they had about 12 people. Some countries had 3 or 4 people. My heart broke. How excited would you get to be to proudly proclaim that you are bringing the glory of your country in before Jesus?! To get to represent your country, the one He came into to radically rescue your people from. You get to bring testimonies of your kingdom into His kingdom that all may rejoice even more that He is that strong that He is that big, that He has not overlooked any, but has went into the smallest countries and the biggest countries, He has spoken every language, He has fulfilled every cultural idea to it's maximum extent, He has done it. 

YOU ARE THE EVIDENCE AND PROOF OF HIS GOODNESS TO EVERY NATION!

But here's how my heart breaks is for DPRK and for the 3/4 people countries. You are proof of His goodness and you look around to the hundreds and thousands of people from other countries. There are thousands from other countries and your country has 12, your people only have 4 people who will surrender and give back. I represent my country, but so few from my country understand how good God is and get to celebrate Him. So few in my country are bringing in glory to Him.

I don't think I would have really understood this without living in China and Asia the last two years. American's are nationalistic. We chant "U-S-A." We "buy American." We pledge our allegience to our country. We don't let people trash talk our country (unless it's us or people we know.) But yet, we've never been left out of...basically anything. We don't understand the underdog spirit as a country. If we're not included in something we bristle with pride and we'll start our own. We have massive resources, abilities, and connections. We never have to worry about going without. We can go to any country in the world and someone will speak our language, and almost every person we meet knows our country. We're big, we're bad, we've got guns, we....whatever else you want to say. We've never really felt inferior as a country or people. We have pride in our country and confidence in it's ability to be number 1. We never are even considered being left out or having to make a way for ourselves. We just assume and know that we or someone from our country is getting in to ... whatever prestigious event or activity there is. 

Not everyone in the world has this privilege. They get so excited when someone can speak their native language. When someone knows where there country is or that they've heard of it. They are so honored and thrilled with someone notes the specialty of their country. I say this because I'm afraid of our self-sustaining abilities prevents us from seeing the rest of the world. As I watch this video I see most Americans making memories for themselves on their phones. Hardly anyone in the little countries have phones out rather they are bringing the glory of their country with smiles, faces, waves, and some dances in the parade. One thing that stuck out was how some teammates were taking pictures of each other. The whole world is watching them represent America and we turn and look at ourselves.

This is my concern as Americans is that we have all the resources and abilities to go help these countries around us be built up and bring in more of their glory into the presence of the King, yet we're satisfied that we have one of if not the biggest group coming in and while the whole world is looking to us, we're looking at ourselves. We're the starving man who found food and has gotten fat in the kitchen forgetting our brothers outside who are still starving. 

I don't mean for this to bash America, for I am thankful for her, but I do hope that we would pray, send, and go to these countries that they would be able to bring the glory of their nation into the King fuller. I desire that the King would fully have His bride. He would receive the full glory of every nation. That American's wouldn't boast at how many people we have, we wouldn't look inwardly at how proud and good looking we are, but we would empower other nations to bring their own glory instead. We are blessed so that we can bless. Let the nations be glad and sing for joy and let them bring in their glory and honor before the King.