Long Day...

Wow.
Today has been a long day.
I've heard so many things that I am so confused.
Mary got up early this morning and went to Jesus' body, right?
Well, apparently couldn't find it.
Her and Mary 2 say they saw angels and then saw Jesus.
I think the stress of it all is getting to them.
I'm a little worried about them too.

My heart wanted to jump at the idea that he is alive,
but I saw him beaten, I saw him murdered.
I have the horrific images of his lifeless body tossed around.
The thoughts pain me to remember the malicious left overs of flesh
pulled down, wrapped up, and carried off.
Now they say he's alive again?
There are so many mixed emotions today.
I'm in a whirlwind of emotions and
I don't know what true and what's not.
I don't know what's up or down, what's solid and what's shaking.

I'm caught in between what I want to believe
and what I've seen, what I've experienced.
I want to be excited by what I've heard
but at the same time, I know what I saw.
I mean a horrific death that I can't forget even if I tried.
That man dying on that cross has changed my life.
How can I forget it?

Are their reports delusions or could they be true?
It's been such a long day.
If this was real why couldn't I see him?
Then again, I guess I stayed away in my own world all day.
They were the ones who went out.
Maybe when you are seeking Jesus, you see Him.

But as we're eating dinner I see something.
I see a man. Is it him?
Can it be . . .?
It is.
Confronted with the truth.
Paralyzed by . . .
Paralyzed by . . .
I don't know. Fear? Confusion? Amazement?
He. . . But I saw. . .
and I . . .
he said. . .

He is more than expected.
I wanted a King over my people.
I didn't expect a ruler over death.
This is not what I was waiting for.
This blows what I was waiting for out of the water.
Everything has come true.
Everything was worth it.

Wait, am I dreaming?
Is this a dream?
If so, do I really want to wake up?
Quick, don't think about the fact that I'm asleep so I can stay here in this dream.
I don't want to wake up
Please, don't let me wake up.
Let me live in this fantasy just a little longer.
I don't want to wake to the cold new reality I've found myself in.
But what if this is real?

This changes everything.
Nothing is the same now.
The way I function.
The way I interact.
The way I eat and sleep.
The way I live and die. It's all changed.

But it feels like another dimension to life was just opened.
Like it's always been here but just locked, out of reach.
Now it's here.
It's filling my lungs.
This is Jesus. Here. Alive.
Do you understand the magnitude of this.
This man was murdered a few days ago, and
Now, he's standing in front of me breathing life into me.
Do you realize what this means?
Do I really know what this means?

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." -Colossians 2:13-15

I've imagined greatness,
I've seen miracles,
but this. . .
this is
Life-altering
Infinitely unreal
Forever changing
Entrance making.

This is true LIFE.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10b