The bible should change us. when we read. the words should almost sting us, they tingle. the come alive and rush through our veins. like taking a semi-cold shower. it's a jerk but it's invigorating.
it's not just stale, repetition of words and stories, but this is how God wants us to be changed. it's changing us. we don't take a hold of it. we read it, but don't allow it to change us. I want it to get to my spine and tingle. to refresh and come alive.
instead its like drinking warm water. or breathing warm humid air. its just kind of does what it has to do, but is not enjoyable. it's almost bogging down.
it's like everyone here has a shallow mentality about God. yeah, we go to church and, oh i probably should read, be a good little christian. It's not something thats real. not something that is interwoven into ever facet of our life. It's something that is just done on sundays. maybe for some even maybe wednesday. for maybe 5% it's something that you do in the evenings or something. and perhaps 2% allow it to change their lives. to really fully work. Where following God is the process of their day, not making time for God part of the process in their day.
it's either like we have way too much to do, or we don't have anything to do. so we're filled with motivation but just keep putting it off, or there's no motivation. just a funk. like a heavy moist air settling. Trying to run with thick air.
everyone think's with such a limited scope. But it's not like it's a limited scope as in you could just expand it. It's like everyone's thinking in terms of numbers, and God is colors and shapes. It takes time to stop and rethink everything that's being said in a different stage or light.
It's back to doing because we should do this or that. Who ever thinks, I get to do this because I get to love someone. I get to serve them. I'm going to show them God's love by doing this. It's oh I gotta do this, let me make a joke about how hard this is and give someone a hard time. and I just want to be like what? wait. woah. Like i started thinking back that way again and it was just this funk. this heaviness surrounding it, until I thought of Meghan being here and going, "pssh I get to love them." and i was like wait, wait a second, yeah, yeah that's right. I get to do this. I am loving them by doing this. What happened to this old attitude? How did I get back here? But it was just like I had a switch flipped. After being down for a day with the headache I had to reset and all my standards were adjusted to home, what it was like way back when instead of now and new.
Everyone just thinks I'm special or either "on fire for God" but my question is, why aren't you like this? What is holding you back? Why don't you give it your all? or they think it's just a church thing. They simplify it down to oh, church thing. NO IT"S NOT. THIS IS A MESSAGE THAT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD! and I am NOT SATISFIED keeping it to myself. I want to change the world. This county lacks passion. We have temporary excitement, and we're used to muscling through things to get to the other side, but for what? to get to the other side? where's your passion? what is your purpose? You're a huge success if you get out of the county, graduate from college, and get a job. That's not success. You cannot judge your success by others. Your best is not determined by anyone but you and God. You cannot say I am successful because I did this. So many people in the county think their successful because they passed others. I want to see these people give everything they have and fully do their best. to push past their limits and make a difference. What if we made a difference instead of just getting better than other people? But how easy is it to simply adapt to those around us? or to push only past someone else? but we are not just someone else. we have been gifts and abilities far beyond those of others, how dare we measure our success in comparison to anyone but ourselves. Where one person succeeds and is very fruitful another may wither and only grow weeds.
How can se measure our success based on another's attempt? Like the pole vaulter yesterday. He had already won the state title by jumping like 13'6" and he could have stopped right there. but he didn't. it wasn't his best. He had them raise the bar to 14' and attempted to jump it all by himself. no other competition. he was there to perform and he wasn't going to stop until he knew he had given it all he had. he missed the first one. missed the second one. and finally on the third cleared it. then he asked to raise it to 14'5". 2 inches higher than his PR. he missed all 3 times. but he gave is all. he went until he couldn't go. Thats giving your all. making a difference.
Each time we open our bible and read it, it should be like getting a new style hair cut. Unknowing what exactly is going to happen or how others will respond, we trust the barber and allow him to do what he thinks (knows) will be right. Its that kind of near uncertainty as we read, that it changes us that much. That exhilaration that we are reading, no hearing from the very Heart of the man who created everything we know, yet we have this very book at our fingertips. Many of us have 4 or 5 of them laying around, the very heart, the very words, of a person who knows everything, who knows how to think, who knows what's best, who loves the greatest. And he wants to share that with us! What the heck?! Is this for real? This is like, passing up a chance of going on deal or no deal when there is no $1 or $500 or $1000, but they're all millions and we say, nah. SERIOUSLY?! Why do we do this?
What frustrates me is how people aren't passionate. not how they express it neccesarily but that people don't live what they believe. which makes you wonder, do they really believe it? or is it just a casual socially accepted thing they do to fill up the weekends?
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