(7-10-08 - Keynote - Post P&W in East Street Studios)
I guess one of the things I've been struggling with the most is my emotions and my feelings. It's kind of ironic. . . well, no it's God. But I had just read about the armor of God, kind of on accident, but then God showed me this great thing from it. My bible even has a side-note about them. I included it in the journal entry, but what it puts about guarding the heart with the breastplate of Righteousness was good. It mentions that the devil often attacks our heart - the seat of our emotions, self-worth, and trust. God's breastplate of righteousness protects our heart and ensures his approval. I guess one of the things I can learn is this righteousness to focus on my righteousness in Christ. Who am I in Christ? What does he have to say about me? Him and Him only, not what others think, or even what other Christians say about me or what other Christians say he says. Look it up. Dig in. . . .
The easiest way to learn how to fix a problem is to go through the problem yourself. It's not comfortable or easy, it sucks and is painful, but you come out with your faith strengthened and personally strengthened. You understand why, you have a deeper understanding, you see more details of Gods face, you get rid of yourself a little more. You also get hope. Hope because it's easier to believe next time that God will come through like he said he would. Maybe confidence in Hope. Along with perseverance, when you have have hope and confidence that God will do what he says and that he is in control, its easier to persevere. Unfortunately, at-least for me, I often kind of ask for God's credentials to see if he can handle the job. I want for God to prove himself to me first, so that next time its easier to preserve. - - Ok heres some verses that puts what I just said into an order - Romans 5:1-5. (Verses 3 and 4 and 5 are when it gets to the point, but all of its really good so I'll just throw it in too.) (I mean heck, it's the bible, it's God's words in writing, it's all good.)
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (2) through, whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. (3) Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4) perseverance, character; and character, hope. (5) And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Dang. Tail end of v2. "we rejoice in the HOPE of the glory of God." We rejoice in the hope of it. In the ideal that we might be able to bring a smile and bring honor to the creator of the world. We are ecstatic because we have the opportunity to entertain the creator of the world. On a much smaller version, it's like being a comedian who gets to go to the White-house to do my act for the President, except he will help you write your stuff, and he smiles just for coming there. You don't even have to make him crack up. He enjoys just your presence.
I want to be able to help people. I want to be able to help them not be in pain, but to do that effectively I kind of have to have gone through it. I mean those who I feel like God's spoken through me to others and that they've found peace and understand with, it's the situations I've gone through. So maybe, God's letting me experience all of these different feelings and problems now, when I'm in a safe environment, surrounded by believers (people seeking God, and not just that but people, who know a lot more about it than I do), and can get help to go through with their help and support. Therefor, after going through this and coming through, I'll be able to help others come through it and grow in their faith.
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