He Came Near

Tangible joy launched into the world, for the worlds hero has come. Let us erase all political, geographical, racial, religious, caste, and societal boundaries and let everyone receive the leader, the King they've been waiting on. Let every beating heart open up to receive a pure liquid love brought by this hero, king, inventor of love that satisfies all longings. The whole earth, trees and mountains, streams and fountains, beetles, bald eagles and blue whales, rabbits, reindeer and rainbows, walruses, waves and waterfalls, stars, galaxies, and even angels seen and unseen that come to and fro all singing in excitement of this new shift in the destiny of the world. All singing with joy of the Hero, King, Inventor coming close to be with and save the world He loves. 
-(Joy to the World in my own words)

The Absurdity of Christmas

More than 1,000 people flooded into the Civic Center yesterday at 11:30 am. It was the Holiday Feast. A massive dinner provided by Bethel to treat some of the homeless and less fortunate in our community to a meal they deserve.  It was packed. Below is just the main floor, there were also tables along the sides and in another back room serving hundreds more. It wasn't just a meal. People/kids could get their pictures taken with Santa, they got a little present, could have a picture drawn just for them, and live music and a choir sang to them during the meal. Afterwards they went to a tent outside to pick up some clothing and blankets.

As I walked around and drew people pictures, I couldn't help but think about what happened later. This is awesome now, but what happens in a few hours once their done. If it's like our Christmas dinner after you eat, you sit around and talk about how much food you ate and crash. Could they stay a little longer? Was it cool if they lingered inside where it was warm and dry (as it began to snow yesterday)? I wouldn't mind cleaning up around them if they wanted to hang out for a little while longer. But the clothing and blankets out in the tent drove most of them outside earlier to make sure they got something. 

Where I love activities like this, yesterday I was soberized again as to the reality of "you can't leave this." When I was in China and visited one of my student's (Grammar's) houses in the winter time it was -20 degrees outside and probably 35-40 degrees inside. I was there for a week and after the second day when I got sick, I was just counting down the days and hours of when I could leave. I wanted a hot shower.I wanted to not be wearing 3-4 layers all the time inside. I wanted food I didn't have to excessively chew for it's uncertainty or food that I didn't have to swallow nearly whole because I didn't know what it was and couldn't stand the texture. As much as I gave up coming to China, my apartment at school was HUGE...and boy did I miss it. I couldn't wait to leave and get back to normal. Then it occurred to me, I looked over at Grammar and realized. This is normal. I have a week here. He has another month before returning to school. This has been the last 21 years of his life. With 6 months of winter in Changchun, it's not something you can hold your breathe through.

It takes one level to serve people who don't have as much or as great of provision as you do (or think so). It takes another level to actually go to their places where they live. Then it takes another extreme level to not visit them, holding your breath through, waiting until you can return back to "safety", but to actually live there with the people. To understand when this meal is over, I'm going back outside and it could possibly hurt worse than before because now I've thawed out. To understand there is no better food later, there is no pushing through. To understand this is life, awesome for you who can come and go, but this is me, here, now. 

Meals are done here.

Family gatherings are done here. Family dinners are done here.

Doing book reports and homework is here.

"Brush your teeth and go to bed" is done here.
"I'll tuck you in" is done here.

"It's okay, you're home safe now" is done here.
"I'll check under the bed and in the closet for monsters" is here.

Romantic evenings are here. Babies are made here. Babies are delivered here.

Baby's first steps are here. Teething is done here. Potty training is done here.

It takes a whole other level to live here. Not to see it on tv, not to send money, not to visit it on a mission trip, not to live nearby and go and visit, but to actually live like the people among the people for the people's sake. It's the craziest thing.

I had a friend of mine tell me how him and his wife, who are from Egypt who escaped to Quebec and now went back into Cairo)  wanted to reach the people there. They decided they wanted to give up their freedom and convenience and go back to their people. They went in and realized the trash people were being overlooked. So they went in and everyday they would serve them. They began spending evenings and nights there. They submerged themselves in their living and culture. She found out she was pregnant. They began making travel arrangements back to Quebec for the last few weeks of the pregnancy and the delivery. Then they realized if they wanted to really be like the people, they would deliver the baby out in the dumps with them. No doctors. No medicine. No sterile...anything. No clean anything. Using rusty scissors to cut the cord. A "clean-er" shirt to wrap the baby in once delivered. Breast feeding behind a pile of newspapers or soda cans. Awesome.  They were questioned by many people, but they wanted to prove they were like them to reach them.

Don't you see the absurdity of Christmas? No wealthy business man would do this. No president would ever do this. No king in history would ever do this. Yet, the supreme being over the universe came close to the trash dumps and has His Son be born in these conditions so that He could show the people He was all for them. It wasn't a publicity stunt. It wasn't an event that happened, then 3 hours later they took them away to normal hospital for good care. It wasn't a just push through the first month to say we did it, then we can move on. It was this idea that "I will live with you. I will be like you. I will go through everything you will, and I will use none of my Daddy's resources to make things easier on me. In fact, I'll go through everything you have to and everything others have to go through too, just to make sure I don't miss anything. I'll go through everything and more - because I'm THAT invested in you." 

I'm afraid if this doesn't mess up a little bit, we've been in church too long. God, may this never lose it's touch and power in our lives. Let it drive us to invest in God this much and invest in His heart this much.  This is the absurdity of Christmas - the incarnation.

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." John 1:14

Recognizing God's Desires and Mine - The Mirror

This isn't a blog series about separating what I want with what God wants. This blog series about understanding they're the same. A few quick passages to just set the standard:

"Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalms 34:7 (Aka: we've got new desires, the old evil ones have died, the new ones are good.)

"The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one." -John 17:22, see also v20-26

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." - Gal 2:20a

It's interesting as a husband loves his wife, his desires become more of what she desires. The wifes desires, as she loves her husband, becomes more of his desires. They begin to favor one another and what the other person enjoys doing and in so doing that - they actually enjoy the thing because it makes the other person happy. I just find this interesting that in loving relationships (romantic or not), you find yourself wanting what the other person wants. I had this event this morning...

It's been a rough week of mornings. Each morning as I wake up, I feel in a fog or haze and can't connect very well to God. Sometimes it breaks early and other times it takes an hour and half or so to break. Last night it came back again as I was going to bed and was here this morning as I woke up. I tried reading my Bible, focus, praying (although it was all over the place), I began trying to think of what I didn't do that I needed to do so that God would turn His affections towards me and I could connect with Him and share my affections with Him. Ever done that? I realized this was performance. I was trying to perform for His affections. So I rebuked the spirit of performance and it was as if the lights became brighter in the room. My heart could come up more and my mind engaged with the Word more. After a few chapters, I still felt kind of 'ehh.' So I put down my Bible and just started talking honestly.

God, I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of just getting up reading, reading, laying down. I get up and worship and I give what I have but I'm not connecting with you any more. I read more, I'm ministering to people, I'm pouring out, You're giving me words and pictures for people when I really seek after it, but it seems more like my life is a series of events (going from one to another) rather than just living life fully with you and things happening. I don't want to try so hard, I just want it to flow. 

Then I realized, I had become/was becoming a minister rather than a son. I was doing everything I should do, but I was doing it rather than just being a son. My conversations with God were all about more of His Word or encouraging someone else, or differences in churches and how to help them - all good things, but I wasn't being real with God, i mean really real with God about what was going on inside. I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't have time to deal with it to get everything done - or I was just afraid of it. 

I began singing "I Belong To You" by Derek Johnson and went to wash my hands. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like God was saying, "I want to enjoy you. You are mine and I want to take some time to enjoy you." As my eyes danced around my face and neck I heard Him say, "I made that for a purpose. I made that for a purpose. I made that and for a purpose. " My neck. I made that.  The mole on my neck. I made that and for a purpose. The beard hair on my cheek. I made that and for a purpose. The stray hairs of my mustache that needs trimmed. I made that one too. Everything I looked at good or what I saw as not as good, He said "I made that one too." 

The big idea for the morning was, I made you. You are mine. You belong to me. I belong to you. We share each other. Slow down and enjoy me. Get to know me. I am yours so come and unpack that and just enjoy. You are mine so let me unpack and just marvel at you now and every layer and detail of you. You are mine and I want to discover you and each layer of you. (I know He knows every part of me already, but that's how it was explained because I'm discovering me and I love discovering and unpacking people and finding layers and layers of awesomeness and sweet mystery - thats what He was doing with me to me.) I left after about 4 minutes of doing this to continue reading my Bible but then felt the urge to go back. So I went back for another 5-10 minutes just staring at myself and enjoying God and letting Him unpack and peel back layers on me and show me every hair he made and likes it there. (BTW: This is big because normally, I look in the mirror and think "eh." and start thinking of things I would fix or correct or twist and change then hearing ideas of how good of looking others are or that I wasn't. So this is  new!)

So if you get the chance, go stare at yourself in the mirror and just start unpacking your heart and let God show you what He thinks of you and how He's made you. 

Recognizing God's Desires and Mine - Love and Respect

This isn't a blog series about separating what I want with what God wants. This blog series about understanding they're the same. A few quick passages to just set the standard:

"Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalms 34:7 (Aka: we've got new desires, the old evil ones have died, the new ones are good.)

"The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one." -John 17:22, see also v20-26

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." - Gal 2:20a

So Christ and I's desires become one, as my old self has been killed and I delight in Him, they become one just like Jesus prayed for - and who is Jesus to not get what He prays for? It was His plan from the beginning.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." - Gen 1:27

Love & Respect
I first started taking note of this during "Relationship Week" last week when I realized that men want to be respected and women want to be loved. (We've all heard that before, maybe.) Women want to be loved and cared for and shown affection, but men would rather be respected and well thought of. If we don't understand why, women can think men are arrogant and prideful and men can think women are needy and clingy.

Here's why though. Gen 1:27. Being made in the image of God, God created both genders to show His desires and needs as well. God wants to be both respected and well thought of (as shown in the by defending His people and His name in the OT and His high code for Holiness) and He wants to be loved and  adored (as shown by calling us His bride, and pouring out love and affection towards us then asking for it in return.)

I feel that many churches do a good job of giving God one of the two.
A-Some churches know the fear of God and they know how great and high and mighty He is. They can tell you vast numbers that try to explain His size and our galaxy's size. They'll explain the OT and His raw power and might and bring up passage about falling down with fear and trembling before Him. They have very clean respectful churches and want to wear their "Sunday Best" in before God to His Holy House. They do an excellent job of respecting God as a supreme being and ruler.

B- Other churches know the intimate heart of God and how it beats. They will talk about "Daddy God" or "Papa God." They will explain how they were talking to God about bubble gum flavors and His idea for new inventions made out of clouds. They'll talk about cuddling up in Daddy God's lap and laying their head on His chest. They'll use Song of Solomon and John to explain the intimate affection that God/Jesus brought and that we can have. Their church services are more relaxed and free flowing fun. They enjoy God as a lover and as a Daddy and do an excellent job of loving God.

Unfortunately, sometimes Type A churches will look at Type B churches as irreverent, blasphemous, and just too girly to be actually worshiping the true God of the Bible. They may accuse them of being more "new age" Christianity rather than the real "Bible Believing Church" they are. Type B Churches will look at Type A, and call them cold, distant, and dying. They may accuse them of living out of the Old Covenant and still trying to work their way to God rather then enjoying the freedom of Christ to run to God. I've noticed Type A churches tend to have more old school (rough and tough) masculine leadership, where Type B churches have either masculine (not the rough and tough kind) of leadership or more female leadership.

Basically, Type A churches show off God's desires to be respected and Type B churches show off God's desire to be loved. Great Job! ...except...there's a reason He made man AND women. They were to become one, compliment each other, and display a fuller view of God. Ironically, that's why one of Jesus' last prayers before the cross was "make [the Church] one, as we are one." So just like men don't fully understand love or their desire to be loved, and women don't fully understand respect or their desire to be respected until men and women interact with each other and get married, so too doesn't the Church fully understand the other side of God's desire to be Loved AND Respected by His children. I think, this helps unify the whole Bible more and understand it well.

God commanded us to both fear Him and love Him. Without respecting how BIG and Holy God is, we will make Him into our own powerless, do whatever we want teddy bear; without loving God as intimate and careful we will make Him into a "being" out there rather than an intimate Father who interacts with us. We can have all the power or we can have the closeness, but without having both you have a lifeless teddy bear or a distant power who doesn't care. Thankfully, we have a God who created time and physics and who ripped time in half by sending His son to be clothed in human flesh to come near to the rebellious people He loved. This same Son, Jesus commanded seas and storms, trees and ruling authorities before allowing a teenage boy to lay back against His breast and rest at dinner time. The Jesus who destroyed and stripped all evil and death of it's power with His bare hands and voice, then put on a royal robe and threw the most romantic wedding ever in the history of time. He's a warrior and a poet, a conqueror and an encourager, the creator of galaxies and the holder of tears - He is God. He is both tough and tender. He desires to be loved and respected both.