Desperate Confidence

Jeremiah 29:13 says we'll find Him when we seek him with all our heart. I think another way to put that is to seek Him with desperation.

Maybe that's what we're missing in our prayer life. . . desperation. Confident desperation. Completely depending on God and confident he is who he says he is.

The prayers that God loves to answer are the desperate ones. Where we come with the right state of mind and admit, "I can't do this on my own. Nothing I have can do this by itself." No medicine. No planning. no special steps to take. No fancy words, but just a broken and contrive heart. Finally in reverence and awe of who we are and who He is. It's not pre-scripted or sold or conjured up. It's a broken heart given by God to finally see our proper position.

I used to ask for revelations as to why this was happening or what I could do to fix it. I received many revelations and much wisdom but it only seemed to feed the issue, my starving soul, long enough to get by. They always seemed to b things I could do better on, things to do or to cut out. Lots of things that I could do, which futher promoted my independent living style for God.

I was doing everything I knew how to do.
Trying to pray.
Trying to read my bible.
Trying to get involved more in church and other people's lives.
Trying to encourage them.
Trying to wait patiently.
Trying to prepare.
Trying to stop trying so much.
Trying to hold it together and trying to let go of whatever it was I was holding onto.
Trying to make things right between you and me.
Trying to just do something right.
Trying to have a vision for what's coming up next.
Trying to give it to you and trying to be okay with that.
Trying to get back on track, and
Trying to just let it be right.

Then after months of this striving and pain, God reveal it to me as it's my dependence on myself. My lack of knowledge of who it was that was with me. Who it was that I serve. Who it was I was asking. Really? Did I forget who God was? Or did I just make it about me? That's the part of the problem, back at the beginning I said it. I was doing what I could for God, and not by God. How much of our life do we try to do for God, we try our hardest, but how the good news kinda gets going is by the fact that we can't do it on our own. But somehow once, we're saved we want to give it back and we get caught trying to surprise God with our gifts. There's no surprise parties for God. But the key is that we can't do it without Him.

So much of times in ministry we try to figure out the best way we can do it, what we need to learn more of, or the culture to learn, or the religion to learn. But lets face it, break it down into confident desperate prayer. If we break down before God and honestly desperately admit that we can't do it, we don't know enough, but we realize the fact that God is greater than any religion, any culture, any teaching, any language barrier, that God loves greater than any differences and any lies, and that he can break through any of these things to let someone knows how much he loves them. Then we should desperately ask God to fulfill this promise, to prove who he is, to enflame the desire in their heart that they already have been made with (to know their creator). Then we confidently walk in that fact. The fact that God loves them more than we do, has more invested in their salvation than we do, and has the ability to work things out in a ridiculous way much more than we do. We count on it and we confidently go with it. Knowing that somehow, (we might not and probably don't know how, yet or ever) that this will happen, but somehow it will happen and doors will be opened and hearts will be changed as we follow him.

Jesus said, "With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God" - Mark 10:27