"Heard His cry" and "saw how He died"

When the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God." - Mark 15:39

When he "heard his cry" and "saw how he died" he believed. This kinda just took me back. That this man was able to see who Jesus is, not by the way he lived, but by the way he died. Many people saw miracles and believed, many people heard prophesies and believed, many people heard his teachings and believed, many people were told about themselves and believed, but this man saw how he died and believed.

I think about me, and I know I'm not like Jesus, but I would much rather let someone see Jesus through miracles, prophesies, teaching, information than death. I mean to see the Holy Spirit at work and using my physical body and obedience to do a miracle so that they would see Jesus. That I could speak truth and prophesy over someone so that they could follow Jesus, know and believe. That a lesson he taught me could influence their life so that they would better know and believe. As the Holy Spirit reveals information or knowledge about the person so that they might know and believe that this is for real. I like all of those, to see the Holy Spirit show up and use me in a Superhero-ish way. I'm good with that. But Jesus was more than that. Not just by the way he lived, but by the way he died, he still brought people to God. (Note: I know we all know that his death brought us life, but I'm looking at the way he died.) We're called to die, but I wonder of how the manner that we do it, does it always point to God, to humility, to willing sacrifice, or do we often complain, question so much that we cause others to doubt, do we not "rejoice that we participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that [we] may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." (1 Peter 4:13). In what was are we broken that others may see God? I mean he died for us, but he also died in a way that even in death, in struggle, in pain, in his cries, people knew he was legit. I just wonder if the way I talk as I'm dying to self, my reactions, if they're humble or bitter, are they selfish or selfless. Do I get grouchy or loving? Do I love God more or question his sovereignty?

I don't think necessarily that he intentionally did or said these things, like we must not do it for show or intentionally do things a certain way, but I think just by the way he lived, and his closeness to God, his heart was so pure and so seeking that when he did die, when they were separated, when things changed, people couldn't help but notice. I want to live in a way that in how I live and how I die, my heart is longing and pure, and that those who see me, would see Him and believe. That is my prayer today, in life and in death, and in how I die, they might see You and believe.