Reflections for faith.

I'm kinda having a rough time. I am a senior and am a little frustrated with the lack of progress I've made for the Kingdom while I was here. I know there's still time left, but I just keep seeing all the people who are hurting and all of my comfort I surround myself in. Too many people to reach, and not enough boldness or whatever it is that I'm lacking to reach them all.

I left a village in the desert, walking five miles to get reach the water reservoir. The village is thirsty, dry, barren, dying of thirst. I filled two gallon jugs with water and returned to the village.

What do I do?

I can give the whole village a drink of water, or I can hydrate two others enough that they can make the trek with me back to the reservoir and bring back six gallon jugs of water.

The sensible thing would be to hydrate the two others so that we can eventually hydrate the village again; in the process of this, I must say no to those dying of thirst. I must pass over those who need it just as bad. I must leave those looking for hope, portraying to them near hopelessness, but it is the best that I can do.

I feel like I've spent the last 3.5 years giving everyone a drink and not really hydrating anyone. It's kinda rough to think about the impact you could have had, had I been sold out. (I know that part of this is Satan trying to stop me or slow me down, but part of it I feel like God can use to inspire those around me.) I'm reading Hebrews 11 tonight. v13-16 is really good. It talks about how these great "heroes" of faith lived by that faith until they died. They never saw what they were promised. The vision they had never completed, but they weren't settlers, they were pursuers of a country of their own, a better country, a heavenly one. They kept on living in faith even though it never fully came through when they were there to see it, because they continued to live in faith, God was not ashamed to be called their God. That's what I want. I want to please God, with faith is the only possible thing, but I don't want to give up. I'm working on believing that he's still working and that it's still coming. Still discovering what's God's voice and what's not. What his plans are and how I can be a part of them. Amen. Nothing too great. Just honest. Double Amen.