Asking Questions

My point in writing this is not to condemn anyone, but to simply share my questions and hopefully cause you to ask your own. 

I'm learning to change the way I think. I look at God's story as human's story. You can't find human history without it being directly step by step with God's story.  I know this seems like the right, church thing to say - but I used to switch gears mentally when considering God and when considering the great depression, the 13 colonies, the Aztecs, or the Great Wall of China being built. The two weren't in the same box mentally - they weren't going hand in hand and influencing each other.  But since this convergence began, I began to ask other questions. If the disciples and others who followed Jesus and did miracles...why don't we? At what point did that stop? In the OT, tons of people could talk to God and God talked back to them. It wasn't through the "Holy Scriptures" because they were writing the Holy Scriptures in the process. So why do we go to the Bible to hear from God rather than talk to God and expect an answer? (Not bashing the Bible, I love it and read it daily so I know the stories, the history of God with man, and how He's revealed Himself - but I find it hard to believe that God sent Jesus to brutally die and come back to life restoring humans into a relationship with Him so that we could then have a book to read. That's a horrible relationship. That's a text book relationship with a dead guy not a romance relationship with the Creative Father God.)

Do you ever wonder how that happened? How did the OT people go from knowing and talking to God, then Jesus coming and talking to people, and finally we being then filled with God (Holy Spirit) and united with Christ and yet we seem to hear from God less than those other people. I also have this disconnect between Jesus starting a movement, "The Way" which later became "Christianity," of blue collar workers, rejected women, prostitutes, and religious wash-outs that were hated on yet having the most addictive and accepting ways about them to a billion person world wide Sunday morning event. You know? 

I'm reading the stories and hearing a dude falling out of a 3rd story window cause he fell asleep during an all night prayer and preaching meeting, then the preacher going down and bringing the guy back to life to listen to the rest of the sermon. The first miracle is that they were so hungry they would stay up all night just listening and hearing the stories of God - we've pretty much got them down now at church because we're still listening to stories of how God moved 2000 years ago rather than bringing our own stories to share and tell of the past week. Most of us wouldn't have a story to tell, why is that? To be honest, it's because "we're just too busy with the rest of our lives" or "I didn't get time this week," "It's just been a busy time these last few weeks." -Which it always is until we have a break then we need a vacation and not to do anything before the rest of the busyness starts again. When did God not become part of every action, activity, or event in life? The second miracle though is that the dude died and then came back to life again - no jumper cables, no EKG, no CPR or IV whatever. The preacher just prayed for him and he got up and came back in. We would use this in a sermon illustration as "he woke up to the lifestyle he was living" or "coming back from the dead" implying getting out of drugs, alcohol, depression type of thing - which is good, but it's not physical death and physical resurrection. (like how many funerals did the disciples crash?) Why isn't that even a thought process for us?

I mean that's one story and questions I have from it. I wonder so much about things back then and why they're not normal now. Here's a few questions I have wondered or am chewing on. I'm not satisfied with cheap answers and many of these have lead to changes in my theology because I realized I'm following tradition rather than the Bible.

Questions:

• At what point in the history of God did we stop thinking we could hear from Him?
• At what point along the line did miracles and healings stop taking place? Why?
• If Jesus actually walked the planet, why is there so much doubt as to if He is real? No one doubts Alexander the great is real. No one doubts George Washington or Caesar was real. At what point did people start to question this?
• How did we go from an unstoppable spreading force of people giving their lives being tortured and set on fire because they believed in Jesus to trying weekly to convince people who say they believe in Him to bring Him up in a conversation...or at least talk to Him?
• If Jesus says to turn the other cheek, and most of the disciples were martyred, how do we, as a Christian nation, become the world's most active army?
• Why do we say "In Jesus name" at the end of a prayer? (I know Jesus said to John 14:14, but why?) If we go straight with logic there the second part of the verse that we use is "I will do it" ...but that's another question.
• If we're praying by ourselves, and we say "amen" (which means "so be it" - kind of "I agree") who are we agreeing too?
• If Jesus only really bashed the religious people but embraced and hung out with everyone in sin, why do we talk bad about "the world" those who party and who are in "sin" but yet accept the religious people that dictate the music we play and the clothes we wear in church?
• Why do I often make God a force to be used rather than a person to consult and interact with in a situation?
• Why don't we see people healed or getting out of wheelchairs? Why don't we pray for people to be healed or to get out of wheelchairs?
• If Jesus fulfilled the law, why do we still preach and teach the Ten Commandments?
• Why do we introduce people to the message of Jesus Christ instead of just introducing the person to Jesus, the person/God?

These are some questions that I wonder about. These are some thoughts in my  head. What I'm also learning is that they're not bad or wrong to have or talk to God about. Sometimes, I want to hide my doubts or questions in front of God or around others so I'm "a good Christian" or I fear "if I doubt, maybe they'll doubt too." But I'm learning that every time you have a doubt, it's an invitation for God to show you what the truth is. "Thomas expressed his doubts openly, and was answered completely." (NIV Life Application Study Bible). I won't lie, two weeks ago I had the conversation and reality with God,  I'm not sure I actually believe You are who You say You are, I don't know if You're real or not. I've seen, heard, and done things that no one else did, but I had this reality hit my heart. So I told God and I was real with Him and asked Him to show Himself to me because I wanted to know. I sought Him about the reality of Himself. (That thought has happened to me twice and both times I had the biggest revelation/ah ha! moment and understanding about God in my life. God became more of a reality than I had ever known.) 

I saw my doubts and questions as an invitation for God to show me more of who He is. That's the thing, if you have doubts don't run from God, go to Him and ask Him about it and to prove himself. Some people make that mistake and go everywhere else to find answers about God. If your spouse says something you don't understand you don't go off by yourself to understand it, you go to back to them and ask for clarity. God's cool with questions and doubts. There are a ton of people who don't believe and refuse to listen and He still loves them. The point is to go to Him and ask questions. He loves to reveal Himself. He loves to show who He is to believers, non-believers, and non-believing believers. Why? Because that's the whole point of Jesus coming was to reunite us to the Father into a experiential relationship. (John 17:3) So ask questions away, and feel free to be real. It will be amazing as you get answers. If you don't know what to ask, ask for questions to ask. Holy Spirit will give you the best questions...and answers.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13