I wonder if and how often God get's frustrated with us. I mean seriously as simple as he's tried to make it, we keep skewing off the path. Especially with gifts he's given us. Like the song Blessed be the name of the Lord, it says "Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise you" but in reality and honesty we should be singing "every blessing you pour out I'll probably put it in front of you."
I was reading in James 5 about Rich Oppressors. James isn't hating on the worthlessness of rich people, he's hating the worthlessness of riches. Ok so start out of what it should have been like. "You have fruit and I have meat, lets trade those 3 pieces of fruit for this piece of meat?" "Ok" Then eventually we got to money, which is pretty much a piece of material people decided was worth something. (if you think about it, the $1 bill and the $100 dollar bill are still made of the same parchment and ink, but one has a different design than the other). So we need this material (money) to get things we need to survive, so we ask God for it. God, out of his generosity and if it's in his plan, gives it to us. Some, he even gives more material to, which gives them more to give out, or more authority so people can listen to them share bout God. But somehow in the process of all of this, our focus goes off of it's a material God's given us to survive, or to be able to show others to him, to where it becomes our god, (not the golden statue kind). It's the type of god that we begin to define ourself by, we begin to not only define who we are by the amount of it we have, but it determines our actions. One extreme version of it is Golumn on the Lord of the Rings. The ring is his god, it consumes him and all of his actions are devoted to just getting the ring. How many people live and their actions are just devoted to getting money? When Golumn finally gets the ring what happens? He sits there and stares at it, his 30 seconds of happiness is then overcome by the fear someone will take it away from him. So Suddenly he wants to put it away and hide it and not enjoy it because he might lose it. Sound like anyone with a money-god? We take the gift or blessing God has given us for us to survive and to be able to point people to him better and became so focused on it that it messes up our lives and God's plan.
It's like standing at bat in a baseball game and when the ball comes catching it and running over to the fence, sitting down and petting the ball. Thats not what the ball was meant for, not only did you mess up your position and place in the game, you just messed up the game and missed the purpose of the game. But there are more balls, and there is more money. So the game/life goes on without you and your missing out on the fun of the game/ on life because you have your ball and are afraid to let anyone play with it, when really it wasn't yours to start with.
But it's easy to point fingers at those who have made money their god, but it's not just money. Think of all the other things we do the same thing with. Something God has given us to help us, and for us to better point to him, but we make it our god, our ring, our baseball. How about relationships? Boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives? They were given to us as helpmates, as a helper, as someone to keep us physical company. But somehow in the point of that we get a little self-centered and self-focused, we do what we do and define ourselves by him or her. Our actions and what we do are not to please God and show others to him, but instead they are to make the other person happy and to just be with that person. But little bits of happiness are often overcome by fear of losing him/her. Self-inadequacies, or someone else being better, or this person acts differently - all these lies slip in and make us anxious and fearful so that we don't lose him/her, the ring, the ball. But if we aren't holding on tightly, if we aren't defined or have this relationship as our god, then everything is more free. The baseball game continues to go on playing. It's like the 38 Special song, "Hold on Loosely," it says "Just hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna loose control."
There's many other gifts that we move out of it's place. Friends, schoolwork, our jobs, family, health, materialistic things, etc. There's so many things that God has given us to help us and given us to help point to him, but somehow either individually or as a society we have morphed out of it's proper place and in front of God so it defines us, controls our actions, controls our thought processes, and our motivations.
I wonder and pray that we'll know what it will look like and live the way we should with everything in it's proper place. But it doesn't seem like it's like cleaning a room and once it's in it's place it stays there. It seems like it's more of a race. Where as we have to run hard after God because he's always leading the pack. but there's a lot of other things that are racing us. These relationships, money, family, material things, school, friends, are all racing us, and if we slow down or stop following hard after God, and these other things don't stop (which they don't) then they pass us and get in between of us and God. Often times they run competitively, they'll get in front of another runner then slow down. Which means that we are slowed down and further space is put in between us and God. But often times it takes God coming back to us and running with us to move and pass the things, or it takes us just deciding not to follow these things anymore and to put the petal to the metal, give all we have, and push past these objects that are in our way. And if you've ever ran competitively, you know it's so much easier to stay infront of someone than to try and pass someone.
So I guess Paul was right about running the race in a way to win the prize. I guess to end it. . Ready. . . Set. . . GO.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
This Guy I Know
A letter explaining everything. If you see please feel free to use.
This guy I know.
So I’d like to introduce you to this guy I know that will totally change your world. He’ll even change the way you think about things. It’s really cool. He’s really smart too, he’s always making things, and making thing happen. Brilliant. He makes things all the time. He’s really smart and always seems to have the right answer. There’s only one downside- he gets kind of jealous. He wants to be the only guy you listen to; it makes since cause he’s always right but he never makes you feel guilty, he’s pretty forgiving too. He’ll show you where you were wrong and then help you fix it, I don’t know how he does it but he does it so smoothly, like almost where I don’t feel bad. Sometimes he says some really weird things, like he’ll tell me to do something and I think, what the heck, how in the world is this going to happen? But whenever I finally give in and try it, it always comes together, like out of nowhere. And he’s really nice, like maybe the nicest guy I know. He’s always doing nice things for people and sometimes he lets me help out. And he’s not like one of those friends who is nice for a while but then gets on you nerves, like the more you hang out with him the more you like him. I really thing you should meet him. I just talked to him and he said he’d die to know you. He really loves to meet new people but always makes time for his old friends. But I’ve got to go, we’re going to hang out in a little bit if you want to join?
Abram
p.s. I almost forgot, he’s got a lot of nicknames but I just call him Jesus.
This guy I know.
So I’d like to introduce you to this guy I know that will totally change your world. He’ll even change the way you think about things. It’s really cool. He’s really smart too, he’s always making things, and making thing happen. Brilliant. He makes things all the time. He’s really smart and always seems to have the right answer. There’s only one downside- he gets kind of jealous. He wants to be the only guy you listen to; it makes since cause he’s always right but he never makes you feel guilty, he’s pretty forgiving too. He’ll show you where you were wrong and then help you fix it, I don’t know how he does it but he does it so smoothly, like almost where I don’t feel bad. Sometimes he says some really weird things, like he’ll tell me to do something and I think, what the heck, how in the world is this going to happen? But whenever I finally give in and try it, it always comes together, like out of nowhere. And he’s really nice, like maybe the nicest guy I know. He’s always doing nice things for people and sometimes he lets me help out. And he’s not like one of those friends who is nice for a while but then gets on you nerves, like the more you hang out with him the more you like him. I really thing you should meet him. I just talked to him and he said he’d die to know you. He really loves to meet new people but always makes time for his old friends. But I’ve got to go, we’re going to hang out in a little bit if you want to join?
Abram
p.s. I almost forgot, he’s got a lot of nicknames but I just call him Jesus.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Perfectionism
I'll admit I struggle with being a perfectionist. I want everything to be just right or I'm not satisfied. God has showed me a lot about not everything having to be perfect to me. Although, many times it's because my perfect doesn't line up with his perfect.
Today's thought started out with James 3:8, "but no man can tame the tongue, ti's a restless evil, full of deadly poison." and the footnote mentions the thought that so many people have is "well if i can't control it, why even try."
ft.nt. "Even if we may not achieve perfect control of our tongues, we can still learn enough control to reduce the damage our words can do. It is better to fight a fire than to go around setting new ones!"
That thought made me start to wonder, or more more or less God started talking about this subject. How many times do we not attempt something or not put our effort into something because we know it won't be perfect. I've even talked to some people who said they'll never be perfect, they'll keep on sinning so why ask for forgiveness or why be saved.
But I think this ft.nt. kind of hit it on the head by saying we fight fires instead of spread them. I think so many times we believe being neutral on a subject or non-action on a subject is an option. Really, though, the more I've found out is if your not with something, your partly against it. I'm not talking just about being saved, (your either for or against God, there is no fence, the devil owns the fence.) But in a lot of other situations. For example: Say someone is speaking at cru and they start listening to lies about they're not saying the right thing, no ones listening, what are they doing, they're messing it up, and they start to feel overwhelmed and ka-thumped. Someone in the audience may think that they should tell the speaker afterwards that they really liked it and needed to hear it. Instead, they remain "neutral" and take the course of "no action" because they don't think it's important or they won't get it out right. Really, they are fighting with the voices of lies by not saying anything rather than battling them with them and saying, "thank you." - That kind of gets into another field. Another, maybe better example: when taking a vote, if you take the course of "no-action" then you are voting against something whether or not you want to. It's like in life they say everyone for it, move over here, if you're against it, stay where you are. By not being part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
But moving back to perfectionism. Think of the things we don't due because we think they won't be perfect. Talking to someone, art projects, dancing, singing, playing a sport, speaking in front of a group, etc. But each of these things we may not see as perfect, but maybe it's because our perfect is due to a limited view. Ex 1.- talking to someone, we may not due it because we think it'll come out wrong or have no idea what to say, maybe we're not suppose to say anything. Maybe we just need to listen. Maybe your lack of knowledge or wisdom will continue the conversation. I talked with one guy named Chris once who started talking to me about God stuff and my mind blanked. I knew exactly what he was talking about and how to answer it but the words wouldn't come. Everyonce in a while I could get a thought out of, well I kind of see it like _____. Later, I realized because of my lack of all the right words, he didn't think i was some soapbox christian and that i knew everything (which i definitely dont) but that I was willing to listen to what he had to say and have a conversation and that not every Christian has to know it all.
One of the biggest things I believe people struggle with is confidence, we search for it in nearly everything (sports, dating, school, cars, job), but forget to look to the guy who has an abundance of it, wanting to give it to us. But people's lack of confidence often lead to the idea that those Christians seem confident, they must know everything and be perfect at everything. I have a shirt that says "Not perfect, just forgiven." But maybe in our attempts (yes, attempts meaning failures or not perfections), we can show others that we are far from perfect, but forgiven. That's another reason why we should try.
Another reason is the fact thats it's not necessarily what place we get, but how we run the race. We are surrounded by people desperately watching us to find out what's different about Christians. We should be showing them that it's not really what the end result is, it's about our heart through the process. That God never ever calls us to be perfect (I don't know why we think we should be then), but he only calls us to be faithful. He doesn't say get first place, he says go out there and give me what you've got and I'll take care of the rest.
If we only do what we know we can be perfect at then we miss out on a lot of opportunities. A time to grow, a time for someone else to learn to teach, a time to show someone how much you really Love them. To show Love - have you ever had someone who really couldn't sing and knew they couldn't sing and was almost embarrassed of their singing, sing you a song to show you that they Love you. I mean we do it with people here on earth, I think the idea kind of fits the Big Guy too. We're not perfect, pretty sure he know that, but just the effort we put forth shows our love to Him. It's like the little kid who makes the macaroni picture or colors a picture, it's way outside the lines and not really a picture, but the parent just loves it because it shows the time they put into it. All of our efforts are macaroni compared to God's sculpture of the valleys and mountains, but it's not what they come out as. It's about us giving what we have to show Love. Like someone making a friend a scarf and it's tight in some places and loose in others but they spent hours on it, and the friend loves it and wears it everywhere because they love it.
But maybe our vision of perfection is because we can't see it all. Because a conversation didn't go where we wanted it to doesn't mean it didn't go where it needed to. So many inventions have came out of failed attempts of something else. Because a movie didn't have the punch we wanted to doesn't mean it didn't get the pointed that needed to be there across. Because you didn't deliver the speech with the most of eloquence and cried in the middle didn't mean you didn't connect with hearts and let God change them through you. I can think of hundreds of what we see as failures or non-perfect things and then later see them as, "oh, so that's what God was doing there." It seems like focusing on perfection rather than the heart behind it puts an awful lot of pressure on us. We focus alot on what we are and what we're doing and how it will come out rather than just focusing on God and who he is. I want to say even be cautious of focusing on what he's doing because often times we have a habit of trying to race God. "ok you're doing this, let me help it along the way. Come on God, why are you still back there?" Instead of sticking with and following God, we try to lead and set the pace. I think it's some sort of human instinct to want and need control. We're always searching for what God's doing and I think sometimes our mind and that instinct takes over and we want to help God in what he's doing and we end up doing a lot of things that wasn't in God's plan or timing to start with.
The main point seems to be it doesn't matter if it's perfect, because if we do it, it probably won't be, but thats no reason to not attempt it because our perfect isn't always his perfect. What we do we should just do with our whole hearts, our honest and sincere hearts.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
About Radiate08
I thought I hadn't thought about before, but then God said it and i wrote it out and was amazed by it so I'm saving it on here. We were talking about Christmas Conference.
A Superman 4 JC (2:09:36 PM): i can understand not excited but why not wanting to?
twiggie103 (2:10:03 PM): it was really great last year, and i'm just afraid that it will be a let down this year
A Superman 4 JC (2:10:35 PM): i thought that last year
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:01 PM): with everything in my life if i get my expectations set up for something it's always less than i expected and i'm disappointed so i try not to set my expectations
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:20 PM): but last year i couldn't help it becasue it was so good the year before so I had them up, and but the years just blur together. they were that good.
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:53 PM): it didn't matter where i was or what i was going through, somehow God did the God-thing and met down and met me wherever i was at and just unloaded on me
A Superman 4 JC (2:12:43 PM): i still have the reflex to not get my hopes up, but my hopes aren't in the music or the speakers or the people, but about meeting God there again and just letting him rock my world for 4 days
A Superman 4 JC (2:09:36 PM): i can understand not excited but why not wanting to?
twiggie103 (2:10:03 PM): it was really great last year, and i'm just afraid that it will be a let down this year
A Superman 4 JC (2:10:35 PM): i thought that last year
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:01 PM): with everything in my life if i get my expectations set up for something it's always less than i expected and i'm disappointed so i try not to set my expectations
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:20 PM): but last year i couldn't help it becasue it was so good the year before so I had them up, and but the years just blur together. they were that good.
A Superman 4 JC (2:11:53 PM): it didn't matter where i was or what i was going through, somehow God did the God-thing and met down and met me wherever i was at and just unloaded on me
A Superman 4 JC (2:12:43 PM): i still have the reflex to not get my hopes up, but my hopes aren't in the music or the speakers or the people, but about meeting God there again and just letting him rock my world for 4 days
Thats what Radiate08 is about.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Blown Away.
So, God just keeps blowing me away. Ever since Sunday at Church when I remembered Love, it's just been one thing after another. and It's non-stop blown away amazingly awesome. Today has just been full of God, I have seen and heard him everywhere today and had one of those days I felt like I was in the middle of Gods will.
I won't lie, i didn't wake up in the brightest of moods and my initial thought wasn't God's going to do a bunch of huge things today. I wasn't thinking the Revolution is happening today. I went to class like normal and toward the end of Adv Illustration I get a text from Ashley Lawler saying "hey are you in class?" meaning if your not I need you/to talk/to something. So I get out and call her and we talked and got somethings figured out. I kind of skipped Printmaking though to talk to her, I felt like classes are important, but sometimes people are more important. Sherri sends me a text saying Amber her old roommate had asked her to pray for her! (she was agnostic/atheiest/not-a-Jesus-Lover...yet) amazing!
So after I leave that I eat and go to find Jack to apologize for missing class and show him my sketches. (My sketches that I actually had time to do and to put effort into and that looked pretty good yesterday, which is one of the first times I've put effort into printmaking sketches). He was a little aggravated because I missed and I said I was sorry that I just had something that came up that I needed to care of. In a brief "humph" he sarcastically asked if I had my sketches, when I broke them out in color, he quickly changed his attitude. I missed the demo, but its ok. I went back and read part of what sarah walk talking about tonight at cru and it was really good and I was excited. then I tried to do some research for illustration and God was like nope not here. this isn't where your suppose to be. so I was like where? "time with me" so I left the computer and went and read some in James then Carly came up and we had this good conversation about God's Love. Then I had to go to cereamics. Went there and the kilns weren't off yet so we couldn't do anything so class was pretty much done with and if you wanted to stay and work you could. Daniel walked by and said I like your shirt, which it says "Christianity is not a religion, (on the front) Religion is humans trying to work their way to God. Christianity is God coming to men and women through a relationship with Jesus Christ (on the back)" and then Leleigh started talking to me again about God and religion and movies and stuff and we got to have a good conversation about that and she invited me to the film society thing tomorrow night and I said sure I might come by and see it, (no idea what it is, but just trying to build the relationship). and it was good. Then left there and went to the library and ended up playing football with Danni out in front of the library and then carly came out.
Then went inside to read and nothing was reallyl productive and God was saying this isn't where you should be. so I said where? after fighting it a while, I went over to the computers and checked facebook and my email in which case I started using some of the conversation with Carly in an email I replied to with Michelle. Then I emailed Devon my old roommate cause I hadn't talked to him. I tried to look up Matt bunner cause I haven't seen him and know I need to find him but no luck. So I went to his room in which case I couldn't find him but maybe woke up his roommate and his girlfriend or something, oops. Then headed over to the art building cause thats where I felt like I was suppose to go. I found pictures on the way I knew were part of a Design I project so I took them in and dried them off. In the next room I saw Norma who I hadn't got to talk to so we stopped and talked to each other for alittle bit and she shared her plans for the future and I shared that God hadn't told me yet and what he had told me that i knew of for my future. So I get a text from Kayla that she figured something out so I started to come back and met danni and she was having some issues so we stopped and talked then Dr. Griffee walked by and Danni went to ask her something and something she said fixed whatever danni was going through. we went inside and I got some work done, got to talk to danni some, michael some, kayla some, and lynsi some. Turns out matt was in lab until the cafe was closed so we're going to meet for lunch tomorrow. anyways fast forward cause I know i wont remember it all. i got to eat dinner with danni and we played cards and had fun. I got stuff for cru set up, and on the way back from getting music stands I saw Zack, (a guy who came to the halloween party dressed as a priest smoking a cigar, and I believe had plans to be a cross dresser the next night. Anyways i saw him on facebook and his religious views were either athiest or roman catholic, then on a post about God being in control he replied with "you dont know since there is no god anyways.") either way I saw this guy walking along and I see him everywehre and each time Gods like say hi but each time he kind of looks the other way and makes it awkward and like he's snubbing me so I dont say anything then realized to show Gods Love I have to take the effort even when it's not easy. So I passed him in the hall and was like Hey Zack. we talked for a few minutes then mentioned setting up for cru and he said he'll try to make it sometime. I said ok that's cool. then he left with a "God Bless" which just threw me for a loop. Turns out that night was tonight. Sarah did an awesome job sharing her story and challenging us to step out in faith and put faith in action. There were so many people crying and I could just see that this is exactly what God was wanting, complete honest brokenness and sharing our heart and all it's scars and how he's healed it. It was one of the most beautiful things. Afterwards Zack comes up to sarah and she said he said "what I said really spoke to him, and that he's dealing with a lot of stuff like that right now, and that it's just nice to know that he's not alone, and he's got hope, and he'll eventually get through it." WOW! DANG! WOW!
Then Sherri calls me after I get to have this amazing conversation with Gary about God and then something else. But sherri calls to tell me that Amber has changed her religous views on facebook from "Agnostic to "trust your instincts" and she had just asked sherri to pray for her saying something to the extent of "I'm not really relgious, but could you pray for me since you are." and wow like shabam wow! Then Gary and I are still talking more about God and how he spoke to him and he set him in the direction he needs to go and all of this is happening because I told Joel I'd watch the cru stuff while they go perform at the Concord Idol show so we wait up there til like 11. I had something I had been wanting to ask someone but didnt know who or how and he had been praying to God about something he wanted to say but didnt' know how and somehow our conversation drifted to that and it was just like wa-thump. later in the conversation gary says this whole thing is kind of new to me, I mean me praying and God answering real direct and just there right now. It was a good conversation in which I need to put alot more prayer but yeah. then we had a meeting about christmas conference before and we had about 18 people who were there and there were some who werne't there so possibly be shaving my head and all but like 3 were registered so yeah. :) wow. and kayla got to talk to elizabeth and just chat and kind of calm the waters there and it's jsut been really good. and i've realized a little more what it's like to fully follow God not just where you think it's good.
oh my gosh i know this probbly doenst make since and is choppy but I need to go to sleep and be prepared for waht God has in store tomorrow. Love you guys. Thank GOD!
I won't lie, i didn't wake up in the brightest of moods and my initial thought wasn't God's going to do a bunch of huge things today. I wasn't thinking the Revolution is happening today. I went to class like normal and toward the end of Adv Illustration I get a text from Ashley Lawler saying "hey are you in class?" meaning if your not I need you/to talk/to something. So I get out and call her and we talked and got somethings figured out. I kind of skipped Printmaking though to talk to her, I felt like classes are important, but sometimes people are more important. Sherri sends me a text saying Amber her old roommate had asked her to pray for her! (she was agnostic/atheiest/not-a-Jesus-Lover...yet) amazing!
So after I leave that I eat and go to find Jack to apologize for missing class and show him my sketches. (My sketches that I actually had time to do and to put effort into and that looked pretty good yesterday, which is one of the first times I've put effort into printmaking sketches). He was a little aggravated because I missed and I said I was sorry that I just had something that came up that I needed to care of. In a brief "humph" he sarcastically asked if I had my sketches, when I broke them out in color, he quickly changed his attitude. I missed the demo, but its ok. I went back and read part of what sarah walk talking about tonight at cru and it was really good and I was excited. then I tried to do some research for illustration and God was like nope not here. this isn't where your suppose to be. so I was like where? "time with me" so I left the computer and went and read some in James then Carly came up and we had this good conversation about God's Love. Then I had to go to cereamics. Went there and the kilns weren't off yet so we couldn't do anything so class was pretty much done with and if you wanted to stay and work you could. Daniel walked by and said I like your shirt, which it says "Christianity is not a religion, (on the front) Religion is humans trying to work their way to God. Christianity is God coming to men and women through a relationship with Jesus Christ (on the back)" and then Leleigh started talking to me again about God and religion and movies and stuff and we got to have a good conversation about that and she invited me to the film society thing tomorrow night and I said sure I might come by and see it, (no idea what it is, but just trying to build the relationship). and it was good. Then left there and went to the library and ended up playing football with Danni out in front of the library and then carly came out.
Then went inside to read and nothing was reallyl productive and God was saying this isn't where you should be. so I said where? after fighting it a while, I went over to the computers and checked facebook and my email in which case I started using some of the conversation with Carly in an email I replied to with Michelle. Then I emailed Devon my old roommate cause I hadn't talked to him. I tried to look up Matt bunner cause I haven't seen him and know I need to find him but no luck. So I went to his room in which case I couldn't find him but maybe woke up his roommate and his girlfriend or something, oops. Then headed over to the art building cause thats where I felt like I was suppose to go. I found pictures on the way I knew were part of a Design I project so I took them in and dried them off. In the next room I saw Norma who I hadn't got to talk to so we stopped and talked to each other for alittle bit and she shared her plans for the future and I shared that God hadn't told me yet and what he had told me that i knew of for my future. So I get a text from Kayla that she figured something out so I started to come back and met danni and she was having some issues so we stopped and talked then Dr. Griffee walked by and Danni went to ask her something and something she said fixed whatever danni was going through. we went inside and I got some work done, got to talk to danni some, michael some, kayla some, and lynsi some. Turns out matt was in lab until the cafe was closed so we're going to meet for lunch tomorrow. anyways fast forward cause I know i wont remember it all. i got to eat dinner with danni and we played cards and had fun. I got stuff for cru set up, and on the way back from getting music stands I saw Zack, (a guy who came to the halloween party dressed as a priest smoking a cigar, and I believe had plans to be a cross dresser the next night. Anyways i saw him on facebook and his religious views were either athiest or roman catholic, then on a post about God being in control he replied with "you dont know since there is no god anyways.") either way I saw this guy walking along and I see him everywehre and each time Gods like say hi but each time he kind of looks the other way and makes it awkward and like he's snubbing me so I dont say anything then realized to show Gods Love I have to take the effort even when it's not easy. So I passed him in the hall and was like Hey Zack. we talked for a few minutes then mentioned setting up for cru and he said he'll try to make it sometime. I said ok that's cool. then he left with a "God Bless" which just threw me for a loop. Turns out that night was tonight. Sarah did an awesome job sharing her story and challenging us to step out in faith and put faith in action. There were so many people crying and I could just see that this is exactly what God was wanting, complete honest brokenness and sharing our heart and all it's scars and how he's healed it. It was one of the most beautiful things. Afterwards Zack comes up to sarah and she said he said "what I said really spoke to him, and that he's dealing with a lot of stuff like that right now, and that it's just nice to know that he's not alone, and he's got hope, and he'll eventually get through it." WOW! DANG! WOW!
Then Sherri calls me after I get to have this amazing conversation with Gary about God and then something else. But sherri calls to tell me that Amber has changed her religous views on facebook from "Agnostic to "trust your instincts" and she had just asked sherri to pray for her saying something to the extent of "I'm not really relgious, but could you pray for me since you are." and wow like shabam wow! Then Gary and I are still talking more about God and how he spoke to him and he set him in the direction he needs to go and all of this is happening because I told Joel I'd watch the cru stuff while they go perform at the Concord Idol show so we wait up there til like 11. I had something I had been wanting to ask someone but didnt know who or how and he had been praying to God about something he wanted to say but didnt' know how and somehow our conversation drifted to that and it was just like wa-thump. later in the conversation gary says this whole thing is kind of new to me, I mean me praying and God answering real direct and just there right now. It was a good conversation in which I need to put alot more prayer but yeah. then we had a meeting about christmas conference before and we had about 18 people who were there and there were some who werne't there so possibly be shaving my head and all but like 3 were registered so yeah. :) wow. and kayla got to talk to elizabeth and just chat and kind of calm the waters there and it's jsut been really good. and i've realized a little more what it's like to fully follow God not just where you think it's good.
oh my gosh i know this probbly doenst make since and is choppy but I need to go to sleep and be prepared for waht God has in store tomorrow. Love you guys. Thank GOD!
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